You Are Who You Hang Out With
You’ve probably heard the often-quoted phrase by Jim Rohn, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” many times before. This can also be paraphrased as “You are who you hang out with.”
Do you believe that this applies to you?
After you have decided that you want to have personal and financial success in life, it’s imperative that you take stock of the people you surround yourself with.
Your friends have their own goals and standards that they live by.
- Are they happy people who are living fulfilling lives?
- Do they inspire you to follow your dreams?
- Do they constantly criticize, condemn, and complain?
In today’s world, with its ever-changing social media platforms, many of you might discover that you don’t know your so-called friends as well as you thought. Minor disagreements about topics like tv shows, religion, or even politics might have turned into full-blown fights that resulted in someone being “unfriended.”
It seems you’re no longer encouraged to work things out with these people because they only have one viewpoint and are convinced that it is the only one that is right. Suffice it to say, you shouldn’t view them as “good friends.”
What Do Good Friends Do?
Good friends are honest and reliable; you can trust them to keep your confidence and be there for you when needed.
Good friends help each other by caring and giving you good advice or offering support or a helping hand. They also allow you to grow, change, and be true to yourself.
A good friend will encourage you, admire your determination, steadfastness, a sense of purpose, and celebrate your accomplishments. They will also be honest and tell you if you are off track or off your rocker.
Good friends respect your feelings, opinions, and boundaries and are willing to work through conflicts constructively and respectfully. They are committed to the friendship and willing to stand by you through good times and bad, even when difficult.
A true friend won’t resort to cutting off the friendship just because you can’t join in on every party and get-together or if you have a different opinion.
Instead, they’ll want the best for you, have your back, stay loyal to you when you need your space to complete your projects or tasks, accept you for who you are without judgment or criticism, and can appreciate your strengths and weaknesses.
How Do You Recognize Those Who Are Not Good Friends?
If they don’t accept you for who you are, it’s better to make different friends. It’s nice to have it, but you don’t need anyone’s approval but your own. It helps to be surrounded by like-minded people who are on your wavelength and on the same path.
Suppose your friend constantly criticizes you for spending time on your project instead of socializing with them. In that case, you need to acknowledge what they said and explain to them not to take it personally.
Don’t be a people pleaser by saying something you don’t mean and doing things that go against your values just to feel more accepted.
What do you gain by hanging out with someone who is constantly complaining and not wanting to listen to any advice you might give them that could help them get out of their rut?
Narcissists Among Us
It could be their bad habits that hold you back. However, the chances of their selfish behavior, negative attitude, and beliefs holding you back are very high.
It’s important to avoid people who are gaslighter friends. Their narcissistic behavior will drain your motivation, energy, and attitude.
This type of friend will see you as their rival. They don’t believe in reciprocity, meaning it’s not a give-and-take friendship. It’s all about them. They lack empathy, and you can never satisfy their narcissistic needs.
They resort to manipulative behavior, which comes in the form of lying. First, they will clickbait you by pitting you against your other friends or partners. Then, they spread lies to make you believe that they’re a trustworthy friend. Cut ties from such toxic friendships.
Here are three tips for terminating relationships with narcissistic friends:
- The best way to disconnect from narcissistic people is to set clear boundaries and limit your interactions with them as much as possible while focusing on your own needs and well-being.
- Cutting off contact entirely may be necessary in extreme cases. Still, if this is not feasible or desirable, it’s important to be assertive and avoid getting pulled into their drama or manipulation while seeking support from trusted friends or professionals.
- Another effective way to disconnect from narcissistic people is to build up your self-esteem and confidence, which can help you recognize their tactics and resist their influence.
These tips will assist in establishing the type of friends you wish to associate with and attract healthier and more supportive relationships.
Maintaining A Core Group Of Supportive Friends
Due to the fact that you are influenced by those you surround yourself with, it is essential to keep your end goal in mind and surround yourself with people with a success mindset.
It is crucial to become a part of that core group by ensuring you are a “good” friend. You need to look at those around you and accept them for who they are, even if they have differing opinions, religions, or political views.
Of course, this doesn’t guarantee that you will be super close to them, but you will not be the cause of any rifts that may occur.
It is also essential to be an encourager. You can do this by edifying people and their partners, supporting their goals as best you can, and maintaining a positive attitude toward them.
If you share information about them, be sure you are not spreading negative gossip. Avoiding this when talking about others is crucial because it can harm their reputation and yours, create conflict, and damage trust in relationships.
That’s why you must associate with ethical winners who have dreams and are working hard to succeed. Help create that core group by being in an encouraging environment with people who want the best for you, are supportive, and won’t deter you from your dreams.
